Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Thong Stories from the Past and Present- a continuation

Once upon a time I was an incoming freshman student heading off to college. This is one of those stories that cracks me up... and is a bit embarrassing, but I'll share anyway. It is also one of those stories that I sometimes use to remind myself when I have questions from incoming students that I have to remind myself "No question is a stupid question".... because well, let's be honest. Sometimes they are. However; I will also state that I never called and ask one of the admissions counselors, housing people, or academic advisers this question. So there. I still didn't ask a stupid question.

So the summer before my freshman year, we get the list of items that are recommended to bring with you... you know the standard. And on my list in the shower section is thongs. I looked at this, pondered this, and declared to my mother that I am not buying thongs to wear in the shower. It was at this time that I was starting to question what I was getting myself into at this nice little Christian college that I had picked out. Didn't we get separate showers with curtains? Why did I have to wear a thong? My mom, not necessarily realizing my issue was in regards to a different clothing item than what she or the school intended, said that she was sure we could find some other shower shoes so that plastic thing on the flip flops wouldn't be stuck between my toes. That was the aha moment... and I was also happy to hear that, because I also disliked flip flops.

Since then, that story has always been in the back of my head and in all future "Things you should bring to your new home" documents that I have created have always said flip flops... because seriously... who call them thongs anyway?

Well except for me, when I find the whole scenario hilarious when driving home from the dentist last evening as I'm building a blog post in my head.

So do you want to see my very G-Rated thong pictures with my fix?
Here you can see the key chain ring hooking the top of the flip flop.

Here is the umbrella string tied around the strap of the flip flop to connect it to the top part.

Was that the end of the story? Of course not. I was having a ridiculous Monday. So off to Joann's I went, thinking I could get a new pair of shoes there because I also wanted to go to JC Penney. Now the funny part of this is I had an extra pair of flip flops in my car but I had pulled them out the day before. So into Joann's I go, and I find the flip flop selection. Now I wear a size 10 in shoes- sometimes a 9.5. And of course the numbers weren't marked. It was S, M, and L. So I picked up a large although they seemed questionable. Then I found an XL. Which seemed like it could make sense... so I got those.

Once I got in the car, I pulled the tags and put them on, and they were HUGE. So now I had flip flops on at JC Penney that I'm also very self conscious about... because in addition to being ridiculously huge, they were making a ton of noise because it had just rained. GUH. I swear everyone was watching me march through teh store.

On the plus side? The extra length made sure my pants weren't dragging on the floor. (I'm really working for a positive thing in this story).

And this concludes the story on how I MacGyvered my thong and then became Big Foot.
Looks OK from the top, and then...


Good times.

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